Skinny. Or, as Oxford dictionary synonymised it, "unattractively thin". Yet in modern society it does not always hold negative connotations. On the contrary, "you're so skinny" can often be delivered as a compliment, in media, films, and everyday life. I will never forget how, when I was at a very unhealthy weight around 20 months ago, someone saw me and went "oh my goodness Sophie you look incredible, you're so skinny!" At university, if I was ever complimented on my appearance it was more often than not in reference to my body - not my face, my smile, my outfit even. Things that reflect me far more than any body shape.
I say all this - I am as culpable as anyone. After all, "skinny" played a central role in my life far more than it may for most. Body preoccupations were dominant. I've held on to "skinny" - and the result is a life quite lacking in substance.
This thought stemmed from a quite random little event, that being getting iced coffee last weekend. Fact: I can’t remember the last time I bought a coffee and didn’t ask for skimmed milk. Until last weekend. We had finished a busy morning of last minute shopping supplies, the weather was boiling, mum announced "let's get iced coffee!" The Starbucks queue was huge, then mum noticed that next door an independent coffee shop in Bath, Society Cafe, had opened a new branch! It was the cutest shop. I have a penchant for pretty things, and the design of this place was quite retro, a bike hung on the wall and of course that coffee smell… amazing! We walked in, mum asked if they did iced coffee to go… Yes! This is quite a rarity for independent coffee shops, so exciting news for us.
When my mum asked me if I wanted one, it was a simple question of saying yes. A simple matter of taking out that ‘s’ word from my order - or, essentially, not interfering with my order as mum asked for them. That simple task of ignoring the red topped bottle as the barista picked up the green…. Speaking of, isn’t the green traffic light the “coveted” symbol on food labels? Theoretically, we should be running away from that red top! The coffee was predictably lovely - you definitely can tell the difference from chain coffee, as much as I love my Starbucks.
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Whittards - can't compromise coffee! |
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The best combination |
So last week I let go. I drank this, and it was lovely. Tomorrow my pre-flight starbucks iced latte will not come "skinny", because I don't want a life that is skimmed down? This isn't just the case for people in recovery; it is about a simple question of personal choice, but making sure it is for your own happiness in the long run. The grass can be, quite literally, greener on the other side. If you learn to let it go.
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